My vagina. My perogative.

OK

2007-01-05T19:22:22Z

So maybe I don't want to stop writing about myself, although it would appear that way.

So. Should I stop this blogging thing? Probably.

Maybe I'll get a new one and start blogging about things that don't have to do with shit involved directly in my own life.

Example: Gay Marriage thoughts, Chinese Babies Drown in a Sea of Honey thoughts, Sky of Honey thoughts (if you're not a Kate Bush fan, you probably should be).

I'll think about it.

I think I just wanted to type something, that's why I'm writing this.

I suck.

KISSES, 'KBYE!

HAHA!

2006-06-03T14:10:13Z

Two words:

WESTBORO! The Musical

That is three words!

"Perish this faggot nation
Your days are numbered now
Repent your sinful ways
Get on your knees and bow"

Aren't you psyched? Goodbye the future; hello Kansas!

P.S. I love Bobby Libby for braving the harsh weather to come be genius with me last night.

P.P.S. If you're not understanding the Westboro reference, please direct your browsers to:

www.godhatesfags.com
www.godhatesamerica.com
www.thesignsofthetimes.net

It's still the AM hours...albeit the 11th one

2006-05-18T15:13:35Z

I woke up all by myself at 10:30 in the morning! This is, hopefully, a telling sign that I am off to a good start in "Getting My Life Together" which is also my theme for the summer. Acting III final = done. English final = next week. Home = soon.

So cast list for Urinetown went up. I'm on it, at least. Mr. McQueen. I'm the assistant to Mr. Cladwell (the part I really wanted). I think that the casting for this show is seriously flawed. That is not to undercut the happiness I feel for some of my younger counterparts in the department with meatier roles. I suppose that's what you get when you bring in an outside director out of the department. One of the female leads is actually played by a lady outside of the department.

I think that's seriously fucked up. Departmental shows are a part of our education. It's infuriating to think that certain ladies who have invested their college education in studying theatre at Towson are missing out so that some whatever (probably psychology) major(s) can struggle their way through a rigorous rehearsal process-- a process to which people actually in the department have grown accustomed.

Yeah I'm a little bitter. But it's OK. My job is to just blow everybody away in my little part. Which may not be so little. It's just not as big as I wish it was. Or what I'm used to. I did, after all, just finish a show entirely about my character. And I was good at it.

All of this may actually just be part of my panicking at the undeniable truth that the Adding Machine was MY play at Towson. I didn't even like the play. But that's going to be my pinnacle. That's going to be the play that I left my mark on the most. It's kind of depressing, actually.

But whatever. I can't be too upset considering some people were more seriously screwed than me in the casting of this play. And I, already, have a sneaking suspicion that Urinetown won't be as good as it could be with a little more attention paid to casting.

Now I'm going to take a shower.

Dear Tyra...

2006-04-06T04:45:09Z

Like all good gay men I watch your television show, America's Next Top Model regularly. I very much enjoy watching attractive young women take even more attractive photographs by some of the most talented photographers in the world. I'm a faggot for fashion, what can I say?

The judges on your show usually provide accurate, and enjoyable commentary on the performances of the models-to-be week by week.

HOW THE FUCK YOU GONNA KICK MOLLIE-SUE OF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING SHOW. I'M GOING TO KNIFE YOU TYRA.

With that being said, I have to respectfully disagree with your collective decision to eliminate Mollie-Sue from consideration for the grand prize and title of America's Next Top Model. I believe that she brings a high fashion perspective to a crowd of catalogue and commercial looking models.

BITCH YOU BETTER RUN, I'M GOING TO KNIFE YOU IN YOUR FACE AND YOU WILL HURT AND THEN LATER DIE.

My disappointment is not solely my own. I have many other friends, gay men AND women, who also believe that the choice you made this week was unfounded and ill-advised.

WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU I'M COMING FOR NIGEL, TWIGGY, AND THAT DRAG QUEEN MISS J.

If you have means to communicate with Mollie-Sue, tell her that she still has many-a-fan in the Greater Baltimore region. We look forward to her futhered success in the modeling world. We believe she will go far.

I WILL FINGER PAINT WITH YOUR BLOOD, YOU FUCKING BITCH. DON'T BE MAD BECAUSE YOUR CAREER IN MODELING IS OVER AND TAKE IT OUT ON ONE OF THE BEST FUCKING MODELS YOUR UPN SHOW HAS EVER SEEN. I'M GONNA KNIFE YOU SO HARD, AND I'LL MAKE YOU CALL ME DADDY (NO, FATHER. I'LL MAKE YOU CALL ME FATHER) WHILE I DO IT. FUCKING SEAN AND CHRISTIAN FROM NIP/TUCK WON'T BE ABLE TO PRO-BONO THE CARVER SHIT I DO TO YOUR FACE.

Respectfully yours in fashion, taste, and elegance,

Mr. R. Alex Kliner

Actor/Director/Designer/Homo
B.A. Theatre Arts Performance
Towson University 2007

Man...

2006-04-02T18:51:53Z

So I never expected a moonbounce at the party last night, but I thought maybe there could be something more than a bedroom full of homosexuals and Truman Capote and Michael Kors sitting at a dining room table.

But then again I came really drunk. So perhaps my expectations were...you know, not realistic.

Yeah. I don't know. I've got a lot of shit to do today for COLLEGE but I haven't an iota of motivation to get it done.

I'm watching Party Monster on LOGO with Haily and Kristen.

"I'm not addicted to drugs, I'm addicted to glamour."

Ummm...

2006-03-30T17:52:10Z

So who the fuck gets nominated for the Barbizon the first time they design anything?

Me?

Oh yeah. Me!

And congratulations for the actors, too.

It's a good day, I feel like.

They wouldn't let me post this as a response

2006-03-25T23:47:56Z

This is my reponse to Bobby's Crash review. It has too many characters so I can't post it as a response.

----------------------

I think your review is fucking fantastic. We know that I hate this movie. It's common knowledge: I don't care. It's self-indulgent and poorly written and acted. I didn't pay enough attention to the directing and cinematography because I was too distracted by the two-dimensional and blatantly presentational cartoons Paul Haggis deemed "characters".

I accept that racism is a huge issue. Trust me, I have plenty of black friends. (haha) But the presumed expectation that I am expected to like a movie just because it is doing its part to end racism is not only more ludicrous than Ludacris, but also incredibly insulting to my taste. I also realize that nobody said I had to like the movie or else I'm a racist, but I'm going to go out and assume that it might cross some people's minds that my blatant hating of this movie may mean a compromised racial tolerance on my end.

With that being said, in kind of a convoluted and round-about way, I bought Crash on DVD never having seen it. I foolishly trusted that since it actually won Best fucking Picture, it would probably be a good one to add to the collection. I laughed. I really did; I laughed loudly! Particularly because I hate when any form of art takes itself far too seriously and then does not deliver.

When I was at KCACTF two years ago, I took the National Critic's Institute workshop. I suppose the biggest droplet of wisdom that I took from our slightly off theatre critic teacher from North Carolina, was that in order to really evaluate theatre (or film for that matter) is to recognize what the performance (or film) was TRYING to do and then decide whether or not it was successful.

To me, Crash was not successful. It really set out to capture the essence of racism in America. I firmly believe that. I really think that it tried to be the definitive comment on racism in America. That's a tall order for one single film. The reason I think it tried to do that? There were about 8 million characters. There were varying levels of racism from small domestic bigotry (Hispanics park their cars in lawns...or was it Mexicans?) to public disrespect (Hey Osama...jihad!) to violent vandalism (I smash up your ethnic food store!). There were idiot white people (Sandra Bullshit) and who can forget the valuable friendly hispanic locksmith who looks like a hood rat (Oh no! My perceptions of Hispanics have been forever changed!) I think that it tried to tell too many stories at once and they all ended up feeling, well, false.

So we have a limited amount of screen time, but we have a bunch of stories to tell. How do we overcome that challenge? Every time anybody talks it's dense, preachy, and unrealistic. That is the crux of my issue with the movie. It wasn't a movie: it was a public service announcement. Which brings me back to my comments about criticism. If Haggis wanted Crash to be Brechtian, preachy, presentational, propaganda even (?), he would have said so and the film would have worked as such. Instead we saw those elements poorly disguised as a "real human story". It was unsuccessful.

Now I will acknowledge two aspects about myself that may lead to what some may consider an unfair criticism of Crash.

First, I come from a racially diverse area. I live in Baltimore. I've lived in Western Maryland (yeah a little honkey-tonk) but I've never seen a sea of white people before. In fact, the thought of that scares me. At family functions, I get nervous. I don't like non-diversity: it is truly horrifying to me. Therefore, I've never really witnessed what it would be like for a black guy to walk into a gas station to ask for directions in "The Heartland". I wouldn't want to ask for directions at a gas station in "The Heartland". I want nothing to do with "The Heartland" and probably couldn't even find "The Heartland" on a map. But LA really isn't "The Heartland", is it? In short, I've never seen real devastating racism. I think I'm fortunate in that.

Second, I have a huge sense of humor about that shit. Call me a faggot (because I am a gay man) call me a fatty, call me a drunk Irish or a fucking Nazi German (though I realize that white nationalities are not generally matters of contention in American society). But I'm not a particularly sensitive person. I think Avenue Q said it best "Ethnic jokes might be un-cooth, but you LAUGH because they're based on TRUTH. Don't take them as personal attacks..." That's not to say I love hearing the boring and tired list of black jokes that white guys tell in hushed voices at parties. But I think they're also kind of funny. I also tell Matthew Shepherd jokes. And I'm gay. I'm going to hell, but I'll see most of you there anyway. I may be a little less PC than the average guy, but it's only because humor is how I cope with injustice (and most things, really). Therefore, I laughed at Crash maybe because it really made me a little nervous. Most likely, not. But I'm not above admitting the possibility.

There. That's how I feel.

Spring Break = Lame

2006-03-21T01:30:33Z

Hello, friends. I hope you're still my friends. You see, I've been on an extended absence from any sort of social interaction. Here, for your enjoyment, is a list of things I've done today:

*Woke up at noon
*Dropped off my car to get a new tire (thanks John Lear for busting the other one)
*Went to La Paz (new location, yay) with my mother
*Watched Oprah with my mother
*Went to Blockbuster and rented: Good Night and Good Luck, Waiting for Guffman, Wedding Crashers,Ocean's Twelve, Kinsey
*Watched waiting for Guffman with my mother
*Bobby Libby called me; thank you for that sprinkling of reality, I owe you one
*Played the piano for two hours straight (Schumann is a sadist)
*Cried to Rod Stuart in a pickup truck
*Played on the internet

This, folks, is what my life is becoming. This is what my life is. I really should do acting III homework.

It's been a while...

2006-03-02T17:18:13Z

So hello. You may not remember me, but I'm that horrible faggot you met in the library yesterday. I may have tried to run off with anything bearing either a rainbow design or a purple color scheme. I haven't written in a while because I've been too busy being on my knees at truck stop bathrooms. To cope with the awful sound of my lisping, high-pitched voice, I listen to show tunes (all of which written before 1970) at the loudest possible volume on my My Little Pony boom box. There is no hope for me.

For real though, hi!

Some things/people that I LOVE right now:

Bobby Libby, Haily Wineland, Diane Smith-Sadak, Danielle Robinette, (most of) The Cast of The Adding Machine, The (entire) Cast of Cloud 9, Starbucks Coffee, Miss Lilly (the musical instrument), my Mac computer, Rum, Coca Cola classic, The Decemberists, Parliament Lights, my script/book collection, skipping my English class, Ira Gammerman's Live Journal

Some things/people that I HATE right now:

Myself, Steve Satta, Acting III, the lack of Dishwasher in my apartment, the General Education requirements to get a damn fucking BA from Towson University, Maxwell House coffee, Cloud 9 cue-to-cue, (most) gay men, my hair (and knowing that I don't have time to get it cut for a while), Robyn Quick's production dramaturgy class thing

I don't want to finish this list. Anyway, this may have been beneficial to my mental health and since I know you all REALLY care about that: I posted this list for your benefit as well. If your name is on either of the lists consider yourself lucky. If it's on neither, try a little harder to make an impact on me, k? (blatantly joking)

I yearn for the day that normalcy will be an option.

Need some input:

2006-02-19T03:11:05Z

Hey! It's been a while since I've posted and in case you're wondering: YES. I'm gay now. It's fun. I'm fine. Kree's fine. Everyone's fine.

Anyway, I have my Personal Myth (stereotype) project due Monday. I've written a script- yes I know you're not supposed to have it scripted, but I work best when I write, so that's what I did. Anyhoo- it's about identities that we have taken to the most extreme. Basically, become the stereotypes of what makes you, you.

The identities I'm incorporating:

-White, upper-middle class
-Fat
-Smoker
-Liberal
-Catholic
-German
-Gay

Below is the script. Please post your reactions, if you have any:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The stage may or may not have a background. Needed is a table surface with plenty of counter space. A “Oh, It’s Good to have Money” banner is hanging on the table.

UMC begins off stage. We see his wrist hold out a sign that says “APPLAUSE” and he runs out with great energy at the sound of clapping. He takes his place behind the counter.

UMC: Hello and welcome to another affluent edition of “Oh, It’s Good to have Money”, a show where wealthy white folk call in and talk to me about just how gosh darn good it is to have soooo muuuuch money! Out phone lines are always open, but don’t worry: we’ll be screening for any wanted poor, lower or middle middle class, black, Hispanic, orientals, gays, jews, Hindus, and even those funny towel-headed Jihad fellas that toss rocks at our boys, who are risking their precious white necks fighting oversees in the name of Freedom.

Today we have a very special treat for you, our beloved WASPy audience. Instead of taking our usual look into the world of time shares, yachts, housekeepers and kitchen staff and the kindness of conservative politics, we’ll be taking an in-depth look at…YOURS TRULY!

Let me explain on our last show, my mother called in with a very special surprise for me. Can we replay that conversation?

(recorded)

UMC: This is “Oh, It’s Good to Have Money”, you’re not poor, lower up middle middle class, black, Hispanic, orental, gay, jewish, Hindu, or a Jihad fella are you?

UMC’s MOTHER: No, this is your mother.

UMC: Oh hello mother! Round of applause for my mother everyone! (applause) So ma, what’s up doc? (goofy laughing from audience and UMC)

UMC mother: Well, I just wanted to know if you received your package yet.

UMC: What package?

UMC mother: I sent you a little memory box of things I’ve collected over the years. Did you get it?

(stop recording)

UMC: Well, it took a couple of days after that for the package to arrive, but we have it at the studio now.

(holds out applause sign. Places it down produces the box from under the table and a box cutter)

I can have this because I’m white and not a terrorist.

(opens box)

Well, here we go!

(retrieves pack of cigarettes; transforms into SMOKER; coughs uncontrollably)

Smoker: Excuse me…I’ve been smokin’ these babies since I was twelve years old. I’m a fucking champ! And you know what? I get so sick of these whiny bastard non-smokers who are like “cough cough. You’re smoke is bothering me, sir!” Well, it’s killing me! And I would kill you if you took my cigarettes away from me. And I’m going to make sure that I poison you with my second hand smoke! I’m going to blow it right in your precious new-born baby’s face!

Black lungs are the best lungs, I always say! So if you got a problem with me smoking in a grocery store, movie theater, church, school, fuckin’ day care center, you can kiss my cancerous ass!

(slams pack of cigarettes down on the table)

(retrieves a sandwich from the box; transforms into FATTY)

Fatty: NO! Sandwich! NO! I eat to live, I don’t live to eat! EAT TO LIVE, DON’T LIVE TO EAT! Live to eat…LIVE TO EAT…

(runs to sandwich and takes a huge bite out of it- enjoys it; begins to cry)

Stupid fatty. Stupid fatty! Nobody ever loves a fatty. Mostly I like cookies, and cakes, and pies, and McDonalds, and Burger King, and Taco Bell, and STEAK, and cookies.

I eat because I’m unhappy and I’m unhappy because I eat.

(takes a few more bites from the sandwich and places it down next to the cigarettes; sheepishly reaches into the box. Draws a ___________ from the box; transforms into LIBERAL)

Liberal: (very nervous) Hi, oh! Hi there! Um, it’s nice to see all of you good people! Um, I have some very great concerns about the United States. Um, you see, because our country is being run by a bunch of facist white men who care more about fattening their pockets than they do about the average American citizen.

I propose that we stop fighting this terrible war and drop flowers instead of bombs and kill with kindness instead of bullets. This way the happy Iraqi people can go about their peaceful lives without any trouble at all.

I also think that we should afford homosexuals the same rights that we do heterosexuals by allowing them to marry. And also, I propose MANDATORY abortions for all young women so they don’t have to worry about the burdens of raising children at all. Thank you.

(Liberal places __________ on the table and reaches deep into the box. Produces and crucifix; transforms into GUILT-RIDDEN CATHOLIC)

(GRC examines crucifix, averts his eyes, and places it down with the other objects)

GRC: Oh no. There’s too much guilt.

(GRC reaches into box and withdraws a swastika; transforms into ARYAN; clutches swastika to his chest throughout)

GERMAN: Oh, beautiful Deutschland! I pledge allegiance to thee. Fortunate, of my blue-green eyes and fair skin, and long golden locks, yah? You like to call to call me Aryan, yah?

(punishes his nipple with his free hand a he continues…)

You like the pain I give you, yah? The pain is good to you, yah? Spiel mit mir, yah? SPIEL MIT MIR!

(he has an orgasm; relaxes; reveals swastika to audience; begins to chuckle)

You see in Deutschland, pain is power. And power is sexy. This is not hatred; this is power. This is sexy.

Sieg heil! (salutes Hitler; slams the swastika down; reaches into box, pulls out a copy of “Out” magazine; transforms into FAG; the wrist bends)

FAG: Heyyyy! I guess the secret’s out isn’t it? Oh mother, however did you find this? I’ve had these stuffed in my mattress since I could read. Jesus Christ.

You know, I loves the “OUT” magazine because it gives me all these cute little tips on how I can help spread the Gay Agenda.
(thumbs through the magazine)

Oh yeah, this one’s really good. Here we go. (reading from magazine) HOW YOU CAN DO YOUR PART FOR HOMOS EVERYWHERE!

Step 1: Start worshiping Satan.

Step 2: “Convert” as many children as possible by getting a job as a theatre or music teacher in an elementary school.

Step 3: Promiscuousness is the friend of the fag. So go out there and get on your knees, soldier!

Step 4: Get AIDS. It’s like a happy little shield that lets you sleep with anyone.

Step 5: Spread AIDS to everyone! It’ll be fun and also it means more friends at the support groups!

Hooray!

(closes the magazine, flips the cover towards the audience)

This one’s really cute, isn’t he?

(sets the magazine down on the table, steadies himself on the end of the table, with great pain he transforms back into UMC; looks into the audience panicked, begins throwing the objects back into the box, as he does:)

UMC: Well, I see that this was a very big mistake. Oh, God, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.

Runs off stage

End.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

So that's that. Please tell me what you think. I know the formatting might be a little confusing because it's a copy paste from word. But try to follow.

THANKS!

A funny conversation with my girlfriends...

2006-02-15T03:46:20Z

Having a wonderful evening with Haily and Kree Kree.

A conversation I'd like to share:

Alex: Can't we just quit Acting III, Wineland?

Kree: You quit Acting III, you lose your health insurance.

Haily: That's how serious that class is.

OK so Wineland's "line" was actually a continuation of Kree's line, but for dramatic purposes it gives every actor something to say.

I'm pathetic.

To show Bobby Libby what's for!

2006-02-07T04:36:06Z

I’m not a girl, not yet a woman

I used to think
I had the answers to everything
Mm but now I know
That life doesn’t always go my way. yeah
Feels like I’m caught in the middle
That’s when I realize

I’m not a girl
Not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I’m in between
I’m not a girl

There is no need to protect me
It’s time that i
Learned to face up to this on my own
I’ve seen so much more than you know now
So don’t tell me to shut my eyes

I’m not a girl
Not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I’m in between
I’m not a girl

But if you look at me closely
You will see it in my eyes
This girl will always find her way

I’m not a girl
I’m not a girl don’t tell me what to believe
Not yet a woman
I’m just tryin’ to find the woman in me, yeah
All I need is time
Whoa, all I need is time...
A moment that is mine
... that’s mine
While I’m in between
I’m not a girl
Not yet a woman
Not now
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I’m in between

I’m not a girl

Ooooh, not yet a woman
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is considered to be successful song-writing in our culture. I've killed myself already.

alergenklergen @ 2006-01-27T21:19:00

2006-01-28T02:23:26Z

Bobby and I saw "Capote". I'm a changed person. Who wants to go to Spain and work on writing with me?

Don't all answer at once.

alergenklergen @ 2006-01-22T03:51:00

2006-01-22T08:50:12Z

Androgynous
You scored 70 masculinity and 53 femininity!

You scored high on both masculinity and femininity. You have a strong personality exhibiting characteristics of both traditional sex roles.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 69% on masculinity

You scored higher than 28% on femininity

Link: The Bem Sex Role Inventory Test written by weirdscience on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Really? I mean, I know I'm strange. I never thought I was David Bowie/Marilyn Manson strange.

A compliment, I guess.

alergenklergen @ 2006-01-18T11:26:00

2006-01-18T16:36:18Z

Hi, it's me, your friendly neighborhood ass-eater. You know what I love to do? Eat ass. It's delicious and tastes like the Aculpulco Ristorante Beef Tongues. I've never had beef tongues but I have tongued the asshole of an obese Guatemalan whose citizenship was questionable. Have you? I wouldn't reccomend it unless you're big into the "eating ass" movement like I am. I'm an ass-eating afficianado. It's usually about 40-80 seconds from the time my tongue enters the ass until i ejaculate and exclaim, "Gun's going off!" Then I make my pants all sticky and say, "I'm sorry Tomi Casciero, I've got to go clean myself up." "You don't have to poop yet, do you?" he'll ask. "Uh.. no," I reply, "I just have to clean up all this ejaculation fluid off of my pants." "Oh, okay. Well, eat something fibrous, because I would like for you to poop on me later." That guy is a weird ass motherfucker. Again, I'd only reccomend eating his ass if you're REALLY into it, like me. His asshole is particularly pungent, and leaves an aftertaste in my mouth that doesn't go away for weeks, or until i eat my next ass (usually just a couple of hours.)Sometimes when I'm eating ass I get hungry. And usually, as if the heavens are answering my prayers, little happy chunks of delight will come, and then I will as well (RIMJOB.. I mean, RIMSHOT!) They taste a little like the "Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough" balls you get at the movie theatre. Or Buncha Crunch. Depends on whose ass you're eating. Byron Woods' taste like Yams and sourdough. I hope you don't judge me for my ass eating. If you don't and would like me to eat your ass, 301-305-9593. That's the #. Call it anytime, I would be delighted to eat your ass.

OK, here's my life...

2006-01-11T19:29:06Z

It's 2:15pm. I've been up for about :21 minutes. I'm drinking coffee and laughing loudly about various live journal entries and conversations that I've found incredibly interesting.

And then I put my life in perspective and I start to cry loudly about how I'm actually becoming the laziest son-of-a-bitch in human history. Not really, though. But still.

So I am going to revive my love of bad acrostic poetry. Somebody give me a word to do one about.

What's that I hear? "BEANS" Beans, sir? "HELL YEAH I WANNA HEAR BOUT SOME BEANS" Well, beans it is then!

B - eing
E - nterprising
A - lways
N - eutralizes
S - yphilis

Beans wasn't taxing enough on the intellect for me to feel like I've accomplished something. So I'll take another one from the audience.

"FREEDOM!"

Freedom?

"HELL YEAH, FREEDOM!"

Sigh.

F - rogs
R - espond
E - easily
E - xcept
D - uring
O - pression
M - issions

One more? This time use entire lines of text? OK, sure!

We'll take another from the audience, then.

"BLUTH"

Bluth?*

"HELL YEAH LIKE THEM COMMIES ON THAT FOX FREEDOM SHOW!"

OK! I'll do it!

*(I paid an audience member to say this to me; I'm gay for Arrested Development and I'm gay for men in general)

B - uilding substandard homes
L - imits the level of success one can enjoy.
U - nderstanding this, it is slightly confusing to me how a
T - alented businessman like Michael Bluth (Bateman) could continually
H - ave such difficulties with running the Bluth Company!

In the spirit of Ira...

2006-01-09T18:09:33Z

Reply to this post, and I'll tell you *at least* one reason why I like you. Then put this in your own journal, and spread the love.

Hello Friends...

2006-01-09T06:28:13Z

Hey guys. I miss you all. So the voice workshop is over. I thought I was going to do a day-by-day update but I realized two things:

1) I didn't have enough energy to write something about the workshop every day.

2) You wouldn't have read it anyway because it's kind of pretentious if you really think about it. (That is, giving a blog of my experiences in a class, like I was some sort of outdated celebrity on a reality show about surviving the outdoors and whatnot)

TOWSON FRIENDS COME BACK TO ME.

I hope everybody is enjoying the new year as much as I am. Except I'm idle and as you all know, I'm not very good at being idle. So i'm idling away the days and nights saving up my energy for KCACTF and Spring 2006.

Saw Broke Back Mountain today. Go see it. It was probably the most beautiful thing I've ever seen ever. I went with a gay guy and a Romanian diva...I was right at home. I also now want to be a gay cowboy. SO! If anybody wants to herd some sheep with me and perhaps dabble in a bit of spit-lube anal sex, just let me know. We can go up to old Broke Back and sleep in the same tent and drink whiskey and complain about our wives.

So if that sounds appealing to anybody else, like I said, the offer is forever standing.

I love all of you (hurt by the cold, so hard and lonely too, when you don't know yourself)

-Alex

Richard Armstrong Voice Workshop Day #1

2006-01-02T22:06:50Z

So today was the first day of Richard Armstrong's 6 day voice workshop. It lasted from 9:30am - 4:30pm, with an hour for lunch. It was a lot of fun; though a lot of today felt like a review of Voice 1. There were only 7 of us, which will prove to be amazing in a few days because I feel like the real treat of the workshop will come from individualized attention.

Richard is a big, gay, British man. He was one of the members of the Roy Hart academy and helped direct the company after Hart died. He now teaches full time at NYU. Sounds cool enough.

I can't help but think that Steve Satta pretty much uses Richard's cirriculum. We explored the four voice resonators (sp?) through Elf, Diva, Dutchess, and Giant (or Violin, Viola, Cello, Double Bass). Apparently this was one of the fundamental developments of the Hart academy.

So we did that for 7 hours. We explored each a lot; it was fun. Richard told us that he didn't want any of this to feel like "work" so we played a lot.

SO MUCH SINGING, THOUGH! Which is cool. I haven't had to sing for a while; it's something I enjoy doing. I kind of feel bad for Steve Polites, who hates singing. But whatevs. He's already made amazing progress.

I feel good, though. It was rewarding. But now I'm exhausted.

I miss everyone.

Oh it hurts so good...

2005-12-29T05:00:37Z

...yes! It does hurt so good. Why does it hurt so good? Because today was the first day I received male on male penetrative anal sex. My prostate was itching for more.

No? That's not why it hurts so good, actually.

TODAY WAS MY FIRST SNOWBOARDING TRIP OF THE SEASON. Oh it hurts so goddamn good. Me, Kree, and Justin (Kree's little brother) took our three Burtons up to White Tail in Pennsylvania. We spent about 4 and a half hours at the mountain; I needed the practice. I was a bit rusty, but none-the-less I OWN YOU.

We went down a few beginners, a few intermediates, but spent the majority of our time on the less-than-popular BACK of the mountain wherein lie the "Black Diamonds" and the "Double Black Diamonds". If you have never done any sort of snow sport, let's just say that these literally translate to "YOU WILL ACTUALLY DIE, IDIOT!"

But I didn't. I'm alive. At least I am today. Tomorrow I may actually be immobile from soreness. But, like male on male penetrative receptive anal sex, it makes you want to come back for more. OR "cum" back for more if you're feeling nasty. Which I am. Not really, though. I'm too sore to feel nasty.

I hope everybody's break affords you a similar cathartic day of pure bliss and joy as was my snowboarding adventure today.

I love and miss everyone (except for those "friends" that say they love and miss me and never call)

-Alex

Not again...

2005-12-27T04:07:58Z

So I think I'm getting sick. I haven't felt "well" since finals week, but the signs could not be any clearer. My throat hurts. I have a slight fever. I feel weak. My nose is stuffy. My eyes are burning.

I went to Towson Town Center with John and Mere to return John's present to me at the Apple store. It was an inCase laptop bag. It's an amazing bag. It has beautiful compartments and looks really good on me. I loved it so much that I bought one for myself already three months ago. Ha! Funny! So now I have a $63.00 gift card to the Apple store which is fantastic.

Frederick, Maryland is stealing my life away from me. I catch glimmers of what was once a happy childhood and a terrificly mischevious adolescence; it's not enough for me to like it here. I haven't seen a single representative of my Towson "Life Support" people in days. I'm dying.

Maybe I'm just being dark because I'm sick. But until I have a better explanation of this "down in the dumps" mentality, I'm going to assume it's due to the surrounding white trash and farmland and mall traffic, and missing teeth, and pickup trucks, and all that.

Love,

Alex

A new low...

2005-12-23T22:53:51Z

So I'm drinking a Rum and Coke right now. Alone. I'm all alone in my home and I'm getting drunk.

John and Meredith should be over soon, though. We're exchanging gifts and going to La Paz, assuming we can get in.

I miss you Towson folk.

So Now I'm an Addict...

2005-12-23T19:20:20Z

I usually update once a month; in harsh times, I update once a week; over winter break I will update probably once a day. Why? There is nothing else to do. My life hasn't changed since I posted my last rambling, so there's really no reason to read this. However, I suspect some of you have nothing better to do than check my Live Journal which I had nothing better to do when I wrote it.

I'm not sure if that's gramatically correct; I don't care. I normally have amazing grammar and syntax. If I fall short once, I'm not going to beat myself up over it.

SO!

The lovely ladies of The Good Body were fantastic last night. Great job, ladies. Now if you all want to stand over my face for a spell while I smoke a cigar and talk about the taxes, we'd have an interesting 1920's smut act.

Having NOTHING better to do, I've started putting together my script for Adding Machine. We were given a photocopied copy of it and were told to buy a 3/4" binder and to assemble it. I started doing that last night.

I bet you were waiting for some sort of something else in that "binder" story. There is nothing else. I'm that bored.

If you have any suggestions for what I can do for the next 5 weeks please tell me. Right now, I'm thinking of ways to end myself.

I love you.
-Alex

Holiday Commercialism Indulgement Day

2005-12-22T22:06:37Z

So last night me, Kree Kree, Paul, Eric (Paul's younger brother), and Cara exchanged presents at Cara and Kree's apartment. It was a good time.

ALSO NIP TUCK, THOUGH! HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. HOLY SHIT.

Anyway I got really cool gifts and it was an all-around enjoyable time with Mexican Beer, disgusting Parrot Bay, and Pasta with crab meat.

Wish you could have been there. Maybe.

Anyway, I hope everybody is having a fantastic break. I'm going to see The Good Body again tonight with my mother.

Love,

Alex

Grades/Winter Break

2005-12-21T17:22:16Z

OK so if you know anything about me, you know I'm crazy about grades. I'm crazy. Leave me alone. They weren't bad this semester, but there were more A-'s than A's and that is incredibly annoying to me.

I got a fucking A- in all my theatre classes, except performance practicum. Fuck that noise.

Broadcast/Film Writing: A
Science, Tech., Values: A
Intro to Theatre Design: A-
Intermediate Scene Study: A-
Directing: A-
Marriage of Bette and Boo: A
Costume Crew: A-

**and in the style of Bobby C. Libby**
Current GPA: 3.826
Cumulative GPA: 3.785

Whatever. I'm over it.

Mary Wiseman came back into my life last night. All is well with me.

Have a fabulous break, everyone. To my MOCO chillin's: I'ma see you bitch. I'ma visit you and drag you to the La Paz. I love you bitches.

I love these shoes. Let me find out.

I'm in a strange mood.